Dissociation Instructions

Every situation is a situation
beginning with fear,
a contract: their expectation,
and someone trying to calm me.

It is normal to comply
while their demands grow unpleasant
the contract cannot be broken,
I'm leaving my body alone.

Can I not get away together?
A little no must be possible.
It is better to err on the no side.
The contract must be broken!

2008-05-07

Sued

I've been sued
the lawsuitor
follows me 
everywhere, judging me
from behind, indecent 
exposer of my guilt.
I'm innocent!
My lawyer
embezzling my defence 
is the greatest worry:
my Chinese whispers
will never reach the court.

2009-10-17

der Stachel

bitte 
sag mir 
wer du bist 
Tier vor der Tür 
polterst mich wach
lautlos abwesend grausam 
ich schlage nach dir weiß nicht 
hast du ein fremdes Gesicht oder nicht 
vielleicht ein geliebtes aber das existiert nirgendwo 
dafür droht hinter dir eine flüchtige Eminenz 
die sagt wer geliebt werden will muss
in der Anspannung eines Sprinters 
den rätselhaften Startschuß 
erwarten, der niemals 
kommt solange 
mein Herz 
klopft

			1997-08-22

A Toddler with Attitude

Vibrations of no good kind	
have somehow come to me.
I cannot tell what happened,
I have no memory,
my brainpan pulsing, empty,
I - overstrained myself?	

Then dimly I remember
that someone said something.
I only know 'delusion'
was one expression used.
It must have been: they warn me
not to delude myself
that I might be a person
- I suddenly feel hot -	
but they just want to help me
to face reality.

I still vibrate with something -
a hopeful image looms:
a grinning skull, in two parts,
cleft by a silvery blade,
some brain sprays out to hit me
and I realize
that fear of this attack
had dulled my memory,
has held the fury back.

A great hilarious barking	
explodes the company,
it's roaring, shrieking, gasping:	
A toddler! - With attitude?!

		
	2006-12 - 2007-02